Twenty Six

This has been one of the craziest years of my life so far. I know it’s weird to do a year in review before the year’s over, but I got to thinking about how this year has gone. And, I turn 26 today, so how did 25 go?

Where to even begin?

We could begin in January, when I was sitting at DIA, waiting for my plane to arrive, which culminated in what I could only describe as the only panic attack I’ve ever had in my life as I collected my bags at the other end of the trip. I just remember walking off the plane, through the airport to baggage claim with an increasingly intense amount of fear, apprehension and worry for what was going to happen that week. As I stood waiting for my bags, I was trembling as I calculated every worst case scenario I could think of in my head for what I was about to walk into. Hashtag debbie downer. Little did I know that was God preparing me to do a major shakeup in my life, and it’s why life in December looks a lot different than life in January.

Or we could talk about the peak traffic I helped YouVersion weather, serving over 5,000 requests a second to millions of people across the globe one Sunday. I got to see God work on a global scale, using my hands to type out the commands to make it happen, being one small part of God’s tremendous work in this world.

Or, we could talk about my numerous trips. I got to fly over Denver in a helicopter! I got to eat dinner at an authentic English pub in downtown London. I flew out to Oklahoma City four times, enjoyed some Pop’s burgers, a hotdog in a tortilla, and some fun times hanging with some of my best friends in the entire world that really and truly understand me. Or a couple trips to Los Angeles, and watching an Angels game. Flying to San José and working like a mad man for 7 straight days in a datacenter. Up to Yellowstone with my brother for 5 days. Out to Uganda, 20,000 miles round-trip give or take, to see how God is moving and what God is doing in the lives of orphans the rest of the world forgot about. There’s Denver, Cheyenne, Washington DC, Oklahoma City, London, San Jose, Entebbe, Los Angeles, Phoenix, Nebraska, Vail, Winter Park, Idaho, Montana and more.

Or we could talk about the time that I first heard about a friend of mine that was shot to death in a misunderstanding with the police and how I cried all the way home from work.

Or the couple of awkward first dates I had with some girls. One date where I talked about how much I enjoyed leading middle school kids at my church, and she then went on and on and on about how much she hates kids. Hashtag awkward.

I put many tens of thousands of miles on my car, spent thousands in gas, picking kids up, dropping them off, having serious and not-so-serious conversations, trying to figure out this whole life thing. Sometimes I would even sing some Justin Bieber and One Direction songs at the top of my lungs. I got to go to camp twice and had a sixth grader on my shoulder crying his eyes out.

And through it all, I discovered I’m more broken than I could ever imagine. More selfish desires live in me then I ever thought possible, more dark thoughts. More pride, more fear, more faithlessness.

And through it all, I’ve discovered that God is bigger than I could ever hope, that he loves me more than I could have ever dreamed, and he is moving in my life and in this world in bigger ways than you’d ever think. God is bigger and more awesome and more caring and more loving and more great than you’d ever realize. And I only scratched the surface.

If 25 was the year of discovering what God is doing and all the ways I don’t measure up, I want 26 to be the year I got serious. Serious about growing closer in a real relationship with God. Serious about abandoning it all and following him. Serious about knocking down his door and inviting myself to be involved in anything he will let me get my hands in.

25 was great. 26 must be better.