/ Recent content on AJ's blog Hugo -- gohugo.io en-us Fri, 15 May 2020 22:18:23 -0600 /go-us/ Fri, 15 May 2020 22:18:23 -0600 /go-us/ When all this covid-19 came to Colorado, I started a website to remind myself to not be afraid. I called it donotfear.today, not to do anything except remind myself every day that I don’t have to fear for my health or my wealth, that my ultimate faith is in God. I think it’s important to remember why we shouldn’t be afraid: it’s not because I think God will protect me and save me. /putting-away-anger/ Tue, 03 Mar 2020 05:38:44 -0700 /putting-away-anger/ I have been called out a few times recently by some of my friends for saying things like “I’m tired of being angry all of the time”, or saying that we should really put away anger and offense. I sometimes think that people misunderstand what I mean and assume that must mean I am hunky dory with every horrible thing in the world and we should just put it aside and forget about it and live our lives as disconnected from people who suffer as possible. /letter-to-a-future-me/ Wed, 18 Dec 2019 23:27:21 -0700 /letter-to-a-future-me/ People keep making the joke “see you next decade” or observing “this is the last time we’ll do this in this decade” and that has made me reflect a lot on the past 10 years. I don’t know what we will call this decade, the tens maybe? But I know this decade has been really good to me. Ten years ago I was getting ready to graduate college (a year late) and wondering what God would have in store for me. /god-loved-first/ Mon, 27 May 2019 22:55:36 -0600 /god-loved-first/ Six years ago I wrote about hearing from God. Call me crazy if you would like, but I honestly felt like God spoke to me. Just to recap, briefly: I was arguing with God over some stuff one of my then 7th graders was going through. I was angry at God. I didn’t like that God would let some of the horrible, miserable things happen to him that happened to him. /learning/ Thu, 03 Jan 2019 21:50:41 -0700 /learning/ Dear internet, Today I went to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science to visit their mind-mansion exhibit, with a bunch of mind-teasers and puzzles and other cool things. I always like things like this but I never feel like I’m very good at puzzles like this, Alissa is way better at them. There were several times when she would stand behind some kids performing the puzzle, and she would say the answer is 7 or 12 or whatever it is, and be completely right. /all-the-small-things/ Sat, 14 Jul 2018 21:50:23 -0600 /all-the-small-things/ I was frustrated today. Not for any particularly good reason, but I realized on one of my million trips to or from getting pool water that what we were doing today was “just” fixing the LIA-Jamaica driveway. Which is neat and all. But on Tuesday we helped build a house for an old Deacon. And yesterday we helped build the training center at Pastor Reid’s church which will teach skills to students and empower a community. /expectation/ Tue, 15 May 2018 15:50:50 -0600 /expectation/ Tomorrow we leave for summer camp. And I should be packing, but as usual, I’m finding more reasons to procrastinate and put it off to the last minute. Every mission trip and camp I’ve ever been to, it feels like it comes up too fast. I’m always disappointed in myself at how little thought I give these trips until they come. How little I pray over my students. How little care I seem to give. /big-success-big-challenges/ Thu, 08 Feb 2018 22:58:19 -0700 /big-success-big-challenges/ Twenty-Seventeen was the best year I’ve ever had. I got married! We could end it right there and that would be enough. But for me, it was a really, really great year. But I have also been thinking a lot about how tough of a year it was, too. I saw students I love give up on God, on Church … and on me. I walked with friends through hard times. /losing-faith/ Sun, 06 Aug 2017 16:05:14 -0600 /losing-faith/ Faith is a funny thing, isn’t it? If I said I had faith that the sky is blue, you would look at me funny. Faith and knowledge are opposites. Faith is confidence about things we don’t know. When we know something, it’s no longer faith. This week I took, for the 6th year and for the final time, a group of seniors to summer camp. Four of them I’ve known since they were tiny little 6th graders. /scattering-seeds/ Sat, 01 Jul 2017 23:30:49 -0600 /scattering-seeds/ Sometimes when you scatter seeds, some of those seeds fall on the sidewalk and they get washed away and eaten by birds. Some of those seeds fall in the rocks, and they grow for a short while, but they don’t have good roots, so they wither and die in the heat. Other seeds fall among weeds, and just when they start to take off, the weeds choke out the life from each seed. /contaminated-gospel/ Mon, 08 May 2017 08:58:06 -0600 /contaminated-gospel/ To them we did not yield in submission even for a moment, so that the truth of the gospel might be preserved for you. - Galatians 2:5 I love this. Paul fought against corrupting the Gospel so that he would be able to preserve it for the sake of people he loved and cared about. In this example, Paul fought against people (Jews, Gnostics, etc) but I think I can more broadly expand this out. /reclaimed/ Wed, 26 Apr 2017 13:00:57 -0600 /reclaimed/ I almost went to Ikea. I was bored with my dresser, I’ve had it for the better part of 20 years and it’s been in the family longer than that. It was painted red and I was ready for something different. But instead, I decided to try stripping the paint and re-staining it. It took some trial and error. I tried a chemical stripper that removed most of the paint, but not all of it. /requiem/ Tue, 14 Feb 2017 12:02:57 -0700 /requiem/ Too many people seem to not understand what life is all about. Even in Christian circles, there seems to be a lot of confusion. Why does Paul say we are saved by faith in Christ and not by works, lest anyone should boast? And why does James say that faith without works is dead? If the writers of the Bible are confused, why wouldn’t we be confused, also? The writers are not confused. /worthy/ Mon, 26 Dec 2016 16:11:58 -0700 /worthy/ What would you do if you were called to give a testimony of what you believe about Jesus? But instead of facing a friendly crowd, you faced an openly hostile group of powerful people? And what if that powerful group of people were so powerful they could (and soon will) murder people for preaching the name of Jesus? Would you be afraid? What would you say? What if that group had you beaten in public for your testimony then warned you never to mention the name of Jesus? /hope/ Sat, 19 Nov 2016 14:07:58 -0700 /hope/ I know a lot of people who need some hope lately. This has been a pretty tough year for a lot of people I care about. I was pretty discouraged in October in particular, it felt like every week some new bad news would come my way. Not in my life, but in the lives of people I care about, particularly with some of my students. A few of them have been really beaten down, and I look at what’s going on, and I really wish I could help. /strategy/ Sat, 29 Oct 2016 22:44:51 -0600 /strategy/ I’ve been thinking a lot about strategy lately. It’s one of those nefarious words that we don’t really think of, except in a military context. But what I’ve come to appreciate about strategy is that it’s like a habit for non-habitual things. Every morning I get up and take a shower. That’s a habit. But a strategy for me is that when I feel my depression coming on, I’ve decided that I’m going to remind myself this is just a temporary season and I’ve lived through thousands of these depressive thoughts and I will live through this one, too. /awe/ Sun, 04 Sep 2016 16:49:42 -0600 /awe/ My favorite moment when I climb a mountain is getting to what I am going to start calling the “magical” elevation. All morning long you climb with the daunting and overwhelming mountain above you, goading you on. And all around you can see the neighboring mountains. But that’s it. The valley below, the trees around you, a few mountains around you. The world somehow feels a little smaller. And you climb, and climb, and climb some more. /complete/ Tue, 26 Jul 2016 16:24:37 -0600 /complete/ Here’s an idea that God has been teaching me about Himself lately: He is totally and utterly complete. Everything He commands me to do is for my benefit, not His. I read the Bible because it helps me follow Him better, it helps me love Him more, it helps me trust Him all the more, it makes me better. But God? God didn’t change. God is God, and my devotion to Him does not complete Him. /my-habits/ Sun, 24 Jul 2016 15:50:45 -0600 /my-habits/ “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” -Jesus (John 15:5) Most of my blog posts wax theoretical or emotional, but rarely practical. That won’t be today. Before I begin, the point of what I am about to write is not to get you to do what I do, or to make you believe that I’m the most amazing Christian ever. /fickle/ Mon, 06 Jun 2016 23:27:55 -0600 /fickle/ I’m so fickle. I go back and forth between two extremes: loving God and what He’s doing in the world, and being so focused on failing that all I want to do is quit. Here’s what motivates me, and hopefully it will be helpful for you too. I picture about 5 students I know by name, and more importantly, I know by their stories. I’ve been one of the few people they unloaded their story on when they said, “This is what I’m really going through. /prayer/ Tue, 31 May 2016 23:53:43 -0600 /prayer/ “If the few, the vey few, minutes we now spend on intercourse with God are a burden to us rather than a delight, what then? … What can be done for — or what should be done with — a rose-tree that dislikes producing roses? Surely it ought to want to?” Letters to Malcolm, CS Lewis. This paragraph captures my fundamental struggle with God. If I’m a rose plant, shouldn’t I want to produce roses? /you-have-no-idea/ Wed, 17 Feb 2016 22:40:26 -0700 /you-have-no-idea/ You might not recognize the reference 1 Corinthians 13, but if I began reading verse 4, you would instantly recognize it. It’s the wedding passage … love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It goes on and on all about love. And you maybe didn’t even realize that was in the Bible, but that’s where it came from. You also might not recognize Philippians 4:13, but I’m sure you’ve seen it on a coffee cup or a bumper sticker. /dry/ Tue, 15 Dec 2015 21:59:44 -0700 /dry/ In my annual cycle, I’ve moved on from depression towards just dryness. A dryness really in my relationship with God. I know it’s my issue and not His. But I read the Bible, I pray and I just feel like I’m slogging through something instead of really doing something valuable. And I know in any relationship, there are mountaintops and there are valleys. There are times of unbelievable satisfaction, and other times when it’s just a slog. /i-hope-you-know/ Sun, 01 Nov 2015 10:53:00 -0600 /i-hope-you-know/ A few things I hope you know today. First of all, I hope you know God loves you. And He doesn’t love you because of the good things you did yesterday or the promises of the good things you plan to do tomorrow. God loves you because He made you. There is nothing you can do to make it so He didn’t make you, and therefore, His love for you is final. /let-me-set-you-free/ Wed, 30 Sep 2015 20:10:00 -0600 /let-me-set-you-free/ “Let me set you free.” Those are the words I used when I began to answer a student who recently told me that he felt like he wasn’t doing enough for God. And almost every day since then, I’ve repeated those words back to myself. Every time I feel inadequate, every time I compare myself to someone else, every time I wonder why God even bothers with a loser like me. /letter-to-the-enemy/ Thu, 13 Aug 2015 22:31:00 -0600 /letter-to-the-enemy/ Half way through leading freshman year, a student came to Rev that I hadn’t seen in a couple years. In middle school, he was a goofball. Totally confident and looking to make people laugh. A great kid and very much full of life. And when he showed up half way through his freshman year, my honest reaction was: this kid has been completely crushed. And I don’t mean in the normal angsty teenage way that adolescent boys get. /what-god-is-doing-part-2/ Sun, 09 Aug 2015 17:06:00 -0600 /what-god-is-doing-part-2/ I feel I have been more spiritually transformed over this summer than at any other point in my life. And I got to thinking about that recently, and I was like, at what point does that end? Because I feel like every six months or so I sit down with someone or I write a blog post about the amazing things God is doing in my life and heart and how they are the most significant things to date so far. /dear-church/ Fri, 31 Jul 2015 23:17:00 -0600 /dear-church/ Dear Church, I have got to wonder about a society that mourns and loses its ever-loving mind over a lion being hunted for sport, yet seems totally un-phased by the tens of millions of children we have killed through what we euphemistically refer to as “abortion”. And not only is the former barbaric and the latter civilized (at least, in popular opinion), we can even sell the remains of the children. /give-up/ Sat, 25 Jul 2015 11:42:00 -0600 /give-up/ Back when I was working as the DevOps engineer for the YouVersion Bible app, I got an email from a recruiter. He was impressed with my background, and he wanted to know if I was interested in a job working for an “adult entertainment company.” This is a euphemism for a porn site. The numbers he threw out for salary were completely insane. I would have easily quadrupled my salary if I pursued it. /being/ Sun, 12 Jul 2015 20:15:00 -0600 /being/ I was talking to a high school student recently about life, relationships, the universe and everything. And I remember asking him, what does your relationship with God look like? And he was honest and said that he was still trying to figure out the whole God thing. And then he went into detail explaining exactly how I feel about God most often in my life: there was a time when I resisted sin in my life and I felt really close to God, and then the sin came back and I never felt further away. /trust/ Mon, 06 Jul 2015 22:56:00 -0600 /trust/ Tonight as I lay down to rest for the night, the overwhelming question I must ask myself is this: do I trust God? At camp I prayed over a student that wanted to follow Jesus but he found it was too hard to give up living his own way. As I prayed over him, I prayed to God, “You’re not calling him to follow me, you’re calling him to follow You. /unspeakable-joy/ Sun, 05 Jul 2015 21:47:00 -0600 /unspeakable-joy/ It’s the kid who was abandoned by one or both of his parents. It’s the young men who are so terrified of high school and all the good things and the bad things that happen in that transition. It’s the guys who think the key to life and happiness is sex, weed or alcohol, and all the time. It’s the kid that’s going off to do ministry full time. It’s the young guy who’s preparing for the military. /war/ Sun, 24 May 2015 21:57:00 -0600 /war/ I really believe that God has uniquely called and gifted every one of us in life to do 2 or 3 things really well. They need not be anything that will change the entire world, or be something noticed by anyone except God. They may be as simple as being a really great son, friend, husband and dad. Or it may be as great as building a world class organization that reaches the ends of the world with the Gospel. /staying-all-in/ Thu, 14 May 2015 20:47:00 -0600 /staying-all-in/ I truly believe one of the hardest things in ministry is staying in. Many people who start in ministry do not finish. And I can scarcely count how often I have wished to join their ranks. I love ministry but at times I hate it, too. So this isn’t some cheery blog post where I’ll tell you it’s easy and I’ve never wanted to quit. Because I do want to quit. /unmerited/ Thu, 02 Apr 2015 18:01:00 -0600 /unmerited/ I have been fixated with this word lately. Unmerited. Getting something you don’t deserve. I’ve been thinking about it a lot in the context of unmerited grace. That moment when you screw up so totally and completely, you can only look at the person you hurt and brace yourself, only to receive, “That’s ok. I forgive you.” I have been on the giving side of that equation a few times lately. /failure/ Tue, 17 Mar 2015 23:04:00 -0600 /failure/ Today I royally screwed up. I, honest-to-God, screw up most days and in ways I wonder, am I worth anything at all? Am I selling a sham gospel? Or is the gospel good enough for other people but not for me? I can’t change my patterns of behavior. I can’t change my personal short-comings. I can’t change the dark cloud of sadness and depression that seems to come at me on a regular basis. /signs-from-god/ Mon, 09 Feb 2015 21:47:00 -0600 /signs-from-god/ This morning I was thinking about a small group from camp this weekend. How a student was saying that he just wants to know that God is really there. Another student said something to the effect of wanting or needing a sign from God. And I started thinking about when I was around their age, wrestling with the same stuff they are wrestling with now. I wanted a sign. But the problem with signs – whether it’s a star you saw in the sky or praying to have a glass of water knock down before you – is that it produces a very shallow faith. /we-get-to-do-this/ Mon, 26 Jan 2015 09:28:00 -0600 /we-get-to-do-this/ Yesterday at church–after talking about money and serving and reprioritizing our time–Jim said we get to do this. We GET to do this. We get to demonstrate to the world what Jesus is like in purpose and personality. It’s the same thing Craig often said at staff meetings at LifeChurch.tv. We are the Church. The body of Christ–and we get to show the whole world what Jesus is really like. /what-god-is-doing/ Tue, 30 Dec 2014 22:19:00 -0600 /what-god-is-doing/ What God Is Doing I’ve had this post on my fingertips for 3 months now and every time I start I just can’t stop. So buckle up, because I’m writing and I’m not going to stop until I’m done. It’s been almost 3 months since I last blogged. And I stopped journalling my days. And I stopped introspecting every last detail of my life. To put it short, I shot the chatterbox. /dont-give-up/ Sun, 12 Oct 2014 23:39:00 -0600 /dont-give-up/ How many of you in ministry have wanted to give up? To raise the white flag and say, that’s it, I’m out. To feel oppressed on every side. To feel like you are just wasting your time and your breath. That you’re not doing anything worthwhile whatsover. That you’re unprepared for leadership in the Kingdom. That you’re a fake, a hypocrite, a monster and if anybody knew who you really were … well you don’t even want to imagine that. /oasis/ Thu, 02 Oct 2014 22:40:00 -0600 /oasis/ How was middle and high school for you? If you are like most, it was probably really hard, even if it was good. Maybe you had good friends, maybe you didn’t. You were figuring out who you were among the pressures of expectations from family and friends and total strangers that you somehow wanted to please or impress. As our team’s been recalibrating, figuring out what we should keep as we bump up with our guys from middle school to high school, I’m convinced that one of the words that should describe REV needs to be Oasis. /for-the-world-so-loved-god/ Thu, 18 Sep 2014 22:48:00 -0600 /for-the-world-so-loved-god/ Judah Smith recently pointed out that when Jesus’ friend Lazarus was sick, Mary and Martha sent word to Jesus that “the one you love is sick.” Yet, so often, don’t we say the opposite? Jesus, the one who loves you is sick. Jesus, the one who loves you is unemployed. Jesus, the one who loves you has rent coming up. Jesus, the one who loves you has a test, and he really didn’t study. /the-code/ Mon, 01 Sep 2014 22:06:00 -0600 /the-code/ We are Faith-Filled, Big-Thinking, Bet-The-Farm risk takers. We’ll never insult God with small thinking and safe living. We are all about the Capital C Church! The local church is the hope of the world and we know we can accomplish infinitely more together than apart. We give up things we love for things we love even more. It’s an honor to sacrifice for Christ and His Church. We wholeheartedly reject the label megachurch. /4-more-years/ Wed, 20 Aug 2014 09:55:00 -0600 /4-more-years/ After three years of leading a group of guys from 6th grade through 8th grade, I bumped up with them to lead through four more years of high school. Last night was the first night of the next four years, and there’s so much I want to say. Most of you start school – if you haven’t already – this week. Last night I heard some leaders talk about how many of you haven’t figured out you’re in high school yet, but it will happen soon. /legendary-mode/ Fri, 15 Aug 2014 21:35:00 -0600 /legendary-mode/ I love video game cheat codes. I used to play Sim City and one of my favorite cheat codes was “Call Cousin Vinnie” which would give you like $100k free and clear. Another one was “I am weak” which made most items free to build. Between the two codes, I could build up a city and not worry about money. (well operating costs would still come up, but it would take a long time before they ate through all my accumulated money, but by then I was pretty bored and would move on to something else. /i-lived/ Fri, 15 Aug 2014 18:21:00 -0600 /i-lived/ Hope that you spend your days That they all add up And when that sun goes down Hope you raise your cup Nobody wants to get to the end of their lives only to look back and say, “I’m not sure that mattered all that much.” I would say that I, and almost everybody I know, lives in perpetual fear that our lives aren’t adding up to much of anything. /they-wont/ Tue, 12 Aug 2014 21:31:00 -0600 /they-wont/ Hey leaders, here’s a phrase we need to stop using: They Won’t. I’m an expert at it. Let me give you some examples: “They won’t relate.” “They won’t think the Bible’s relevant.” “They won’t take the Jesus stuff seriously.” “They won’t stick around through high school.” “They won’t share deeper things from life.” Don’t you hear They Won’t a lot in ministry and work? They Won’t is so dangerous because it broadens the gap between you and the They. /thinking/ Sat, 19 Jul 2014 20:17:00 -0600 /thinking/ In the last two months, I’ve spent over 3 weeks travelling. First to Uganda then to the sleepy little fort of collins, or as you might know it, Fort Collins. By about the second or third night in Fort Collins, I began to think. Why do all this? Why bother? None of it is going to matter. I got to help lead around 90 Musana kids in an awesome VBS in Africa, and I got to help lead 23 crazy but awesome freshman boys at a camp in Fort Collins. /following-jesus/ Tue, 01 Jul 2014 17:06:00 -0600 /following-jesus/ For the longest time, I truly had the mistaken idea that the best Christians are the ones that never doubted. Silly AJ. But John 11 blows that out of the water. Because Jesus’ friends doubted Jesus. But Jesus loved them even though they doubted. Jesus was really good friends with three siblings named Mary, Martha and Lazarus. They were such good friends, that when Lazarus became deathly ill, Mary and Martha sent a messenger to find Jesus with this message: “Lord, The one you love is sick. /lifestyles-of-the-rich-and-famous/ Thu, 29 May 2014 12:00:00 -0600 /lifestyles-of-the-rich-and-famous/ Greetings internet. I’m posting this from the comfort of Heathrow’s Terminal 5 in London. Waiting for my next flight to Uganda. If you’ve never been to Terminal 5, it’s amazing. Amazing that they let me in. Because it is one of the highest-end malls I’ve ever been in. There are beautiful people everywhere. Handbags for sale that cost more than a month’s pay. And so many different cultures of people coming or going to one corner of the globe or another. /musana/ Wed, 07 May 2014 12:02:00 -0600 /musana/ Almost two years ago, I got to fly half-way around the world to a Ugandan village and visit an amazing organization called Musana. Three weeks from tonight (yes, tonight!), I get to go back again and I am pumped. Musana was started by four college friends who found an orphanage that was abusing and neglecting the kids entrusted in their care. Despite the overwhelming reasons they had to say no, they said yes. /forgetful/ Mon, 14 Apr 2014 23:07:00 -0600 /forgetful/ What would you do if you realized you were the most powerful person in the room? Or the most powerful person in someone’s life? Probably we would all answer that differently, and we probably would answer it differently than how we would actually react, but I love the way John writes about Jesus being in that situation. Because, at some point, it occurs to Jesus that he’s not just the most powerful person in the room. /psalm-37-23/ Tue, 04 Feb 2014 19:58:00 -0600 /psalm-37-23/ The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. -Psalm 37:23 The first time I ever read through the Bible, I was about 13 and I read a chapter a day. I made it through Genesis, and Exodus. And, oh heavens, somehow made it through Leviticus. Eventually I hit Psalms, and I thumbed through them, and saw that it was 150 chapters and I made a decision: I skipped them. /dont-trust-the-octopus/ Sun, 26 Jan 2014 14:43:00 -0600 /dont-trust-the-octopus/ “Someday, many people will come to know Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior through their lives. And as these registered children will be delivered from the bondage of spiritual and financial poverty. We are also looking forward for a transformed community.” Our 8th grade life group sponsors a 13 year old boy named Dino in the Phillipines through Compassion International, and Compassion recently sent me a letter from the pastor of Dino’s church. /ministry-a-braindump/ Sun, 29 Dec 2013 23:09:00 -0600 /ministry-a-braindump/ Here are a few rambly thoughts on ministry. This is less organized and less well-thought-out than normal (How could that be possible?!) mostly because I just wanted to write down some of the thoughts that have been rambling around my head lately. Effectiveness. We’re all raised in a very winning, results-oriented culture. It’s only natural we should use the E word when it comes to ministry. Is what we’re doing effective? /faithful/ Sun, 15 Dec 2013 23:44:00 -0600 /faithful/ I get obsessed with certain songs because of a line or a phrase that haunts me. For whatever reason, this is the way music most often speaks to me. One particular song talks about how Great God’s ways are, and I’ve become obsessed with three little words: Faithful to Restore. God is faithful. Let that sink in for a moment. The Almighty God of the universe, creator of everything, is faithful to us. /generosity/ Tue, 10 Dec 2013 21:00:00 -0600 /generosity/ I was reading a thread on reddit a few nights ago on personal budgets and someone posted the Dave Ramsey budget which pegs giving at 10-15%, debt repayment at something like 5-10% and savings at 5-10%. I became extraordinarily enraged as I read more and more comments of people calling giving sacrificially “insane”. I couldn’t figure out why that bothered me so much. I had a few ideas. Is it because the world in general and kids in particular would have much better lives if everyone gave at that level? /cool-story-bro/ Sat, 30 Nov 2013 22:32:00 -0600 /cool-story-bro/ Six months ago I had a massive car accident. A propane truck ran a redlight at an intersection I was approaching, and I didn’t see him until the last possible second. For a split second, all I saw was truck. My entire windshield was filled with truck and time went into slow motion. My mind immediately thought one thing: This is how I die. This is going to sound weird, but for a long time I always wondered how I was going to die. /lies-we-buy/ Sat, 23 Nov 2013 13:07:00 -0600 /lies-we-buy/ I know it’s hard to tell from this blog because I talk about myself here a lot, but I generally dislike talking about myself. It takes a lot for me to come out and start talking about anything personal. I have to know you first. But most people I meet, they aren’t like that. I don’t know why, but since I was a kid, on a semi-regular basis near-strangers have told me their entire life stories. /made-for-this/ Sun, 17 Nov 2013 21:27:00 -0600 /made-for-this/ I was flipping through Instagram photos tonight when I saw something I didn’t expect. It was a picture of a photo in a frame on somebody’s wall of a little boy, about 8 or 9. You know that thing where your brain recognizes a face for a moment, but you can’t quite place the name just yet? My brain totally beach balled for about 45 seconds as I tried to figure out who this kid was and where I recognized him from. /physical-therapy/ Wed, 16 Oct 2013 10:14:00 -0600 /physical-therapy/ Today was the second round of physical therapy. I went for the first time 6 days ago because I pulled something or did something awful to my back over the summer, and have had a lot of sciatic nerve pain ever since. I told myself, “Time heals all wounds.” And so I was just going to power through and hope for the best. But nothing ever healed. I just coped with the pain. /hearing-god/ Tue, 01 Oct 2013 22:11:00 -0600 /hearing-god/ The other day, I was acting out an argument in my mind. You know when you’re stressed about something and you play it over and over in your head? What he says, what you say in response, the back and forth? Don’t look at me like I’m crazy. I know you do it too. (at least I hope so. Oh dear, this is one of those posts they’re going to read out loud in open court when they finally decide I really am crazy and to put me away forever, isn’t it? /rescue/ Tue, 24 Sep 2013 23:30:00 -0600 /rescue/ The onset of fall is always a mixed bag for me. I love the cool weather, beautiful colors and the anticipation of winter and snow. But ever since I was a kid, I dreaded the start of school, the end of summer and the ever dwindling daylight. So every year around this time I start to feel a little mopey and depressed. Add in, I’ve felt really helpless about some things happening in ministry, and the last month has been rough. /lose-your-life/ Sun, 11 Aug 2013 22:14:00 -0600 /lose-your-life/ I’m not a parent, I’ve never been one. But leading camp is, as far as I can tell, a reasonably close approximation. At least that’s what I tell myself as a single guy. Especially a week long camp. With 14 kids to keep track of, all of them seemingly able to disappear at any moment like they have a death wish to meet a bear in the woods, I spent a lot of time doing stuff for their benefit and not mine. /fantasy-land/ Fri, 09 Aug 2013 15:23:00 -0600 /fantasy-land/ I just returned from Fantasy Land. 5 days of fun with a group of 100+ middle school students in the mountains. Easily the best camp yet. The theme was chaos. The chaos of life. Both the good kinds of chaos – shuttling from one event to another – to the bad kinds of chaos. Like, where is God when my world comes crashing down? I took the whole week off of work and even deactivated my work email on my phone. /buckets-and-pipes/ Sun, 14 Jul 2013 20:10:00 -0600 /buckets-and-pipes/ I flew into Orange County last week and a kid in the seat in front of me was saying, “Mom, look at all the houses with pools! Almost all of them have pools!” I couldn’t help but think about my reaction as we were flying into Entebbe, Uganda 9 months ago. “Look at all those huts” was all I could think. The contrast between the impoverished African country and some of America’s richest neighborhoods is incredible. /phony/ Thu, 11 Jul 2013 09:30:00 -0600 /phony/ I feel like a phony almost all of the time. I know all the ways, left to my own devices and my normal way of behaving, that I would utterly destroy every area of my life. I don’t need any help, I don’t need any temptation, I don’t need anyone trying to trick me. I have done it all by myself. It’s probably my only true natural talent. In most of my life, I feel like an actor. /giving-it-over/ Mon, 17 Jun 2013 21:23:00 -0600 /giving-it-over/ Today was kind of stressful. I’ve been kind of distracted at work, so on Friday I messed up a deploy and spent two hours doing something that ultimately did nothing. Today I redid it, but managed to forget one of the things I forgot on Friday, and managed to waste more time on something that did nothing. I dropped my cat off at the vet because she’s been losing weight and I’ve been worried, well $500 later I have insulin and special cat food she has to eat that’s approximately 6 bazillion times more expensive than the catfood I was buying. /passion/ Wed, 12 Jun 2013 08:22:00 -0600 /passion/ I love passion. I love it when people get up in the morning, ready to fight for things they care about. It makes us better. It makes us happier. Passion is better than apathy. The best thing about youth is the passion, the vitality, the zest for life. But as I get older, I am beginning to think what we’re passionate for is more important than how passionate we are. We can be deeply passionate about things that, ultimately, do not matter. /foolishness/ Sun, 05 May 2013 21:55:00 -0600 /foolishness/ I had a soccer ball slam into my face and break my glasses in three pieces. (and a pounding headache to go with it) I got punched in the balls. I was taken down by about 12 8 year olds three separate times as they swarmed me and knocked me to the ground. I’ve been repeatedly hit in the head with dodgeballs. I was put into a head lock and had a bunch of kids jump on my back. /margin/ Sun, 28 Apr 2013 18:08:00 -0600 /margin/ Did you ever hear about the tricks you can play to lengthen a college writing assignment? You know, things like changing the font to something slightly wider (I’m looking at you, Verdana. They say it’s big boned, I say it’s fat.), or making the font size of periods huge. Probably the biggest trick, though, was messing with the margin. Increase the margin of the paper, get a longer paper. These were the tricks a bunch of my classmates would do. /manliness/ Sat, 27 Apr 2013 00:42:00 -0600 /manliness/ I was hanging out with some students recently, grabbing some food and just talking about life, when suddenly one of my guys started to visibly have some issues. Eyes watering, coughing a bit, he asked, “Do you know if this has [common allergen]?” On the outside, I remained calm and cool, but on the inside? I. WAS. FREAKING. OUT. Becuase I realized, I was responsible. Am I gonna have to take this kid to the hospital? /death-of-dreams/ Sun, 31 Mar 2013 20:58:00 -0600 /death-of-dreams/ I love Fort Collins. It is probably my favorite city in the entire world. Certainly, of all the places to live in Colorado, it’s my top pick. I commuted to school and work there for 3 years. It’s a larger city, but with a small town feel. It has lots to do, but is also small enough/isolated enough it’s not overwhelming. And it’s a pretty humble city too, which is a breath of fresh air compared to places like Boulder and Denver. /perspective/ Sun, 24 Mar 2013 23:48:00 -0600 /perspective/ We'd listen to the radio play all night Didn't want to go home to another fight Through all the hard times in my life Those nights kept me alive I’ve been day dreaming a lot lately, looking at houses for sale online, when suddenly I had another day dream. It’s fifty years from now. I’m dead. And I’m watching people carry my stuff out of one of the houses I’m looking at. /the-best/ Fri, 22 Mar 2013 00:35:00 -0600 /the-best/ Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? Has someone taken your faith? It's real, the pain you feel You trust, you must Confess Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? If you haven’t noticed, I write. A lot. It’s probably a little weird. But it’s the best way for me to think. /success/ Tue, 19 Mar 2013 23:06:00 -0600 /success/ It was the fall semester of junior year of college. Grades were posted to the most difficult test of the semester. The class average on this test was somewhere between 35-45%. The 2nd highest score? 76%? But… the highest? 104%. All class grades were secret, but publicly posted. It didn’t take long for people to get curious about who outperformed the class average by such a wide margin. Especially since that score meant there’d be no curve in this class. /fatherless/ Sat, 23 Feb 2013 00:00:00 +0000 /fatherless/ I could cite the stats. I have before: 90% of all homeless and runaways come from fatherless homes. 63% of youth suicides. 85% of kids with behavior issues. 85% of all kids in prison. 71% of pregnant teenage girls. 71% of high school drop outs. All from homes lacking a father. This is not an abstract concept for me, either. A few weeks ago, I was taking a carload full of middle school boys home from our youth group when I realized that the majority of kids in my car had no dad or had a terrible dad. /embracing-paradox/ Sat, 16 Feb 2013 00:00:00 +0000 /embracing-paradox/ Embracing Paradox Great leaders embrace paradox. I’m convinced of it. Tomorrow begins BOCO, our annual winter camp and this year we’re taking somewhere around 130 middle school kids to the mountains. I’m completely sold out to this idea. I’ve fasted for it, I’ve given money to it, I’ve cast vision with parents and leaders and students, I’ve driven for sign ups… I’ve been deeply involved. And the reason why is this: Deep down, in my bone of bones, I truly believe that many of the kids that come here this weekend will look back sometime down the road — maybe decades from now — and point to these three days as the time that God did something. /pouring-out/ Sun, 10 Feb 2013 00:00:00 +0000 /pouring-out/ For I am already being poured out as a drink offering… -Paul (2 Timothy 4:6a, HCSB) Something I have been thinking a lot about is where our heart lies. I’ve written about it before. But I’ve woken up twice recently with a weird feeling in my head. About a week and a half ago, I woke up having dreamt that I had an argument with a friend of mine. It was a stupid argument in the dream, but it was something I at the time (and still now) expect that he and I will be in conflict for, so I was dreaming about the argument and how I could win it. /lost-the-plot/ Tue, 15 Jan 2013 00:00:00 +0000 /lost-the-plot/ sigh. Let’s be blunt. We’re a little distracted. What do you want? Once we could follow, now we cannot. You would not fit our image, so we lost the plot. Once we could hear you, now our senses are shot. We’ve forgotten our first love. We have lost the plot. Last week one of my best friends shared something that really hit him hard. He was journaling and realized that he was doing a lot of stuff because he wanted God to like him. /give-it-all-away/ Sun, 06 Jan 2013 00:00:00 +0000 /give-it-all-away/ Hello, internet. My fast is going well. I’ve either completely skipped lunch, or kept to rice and beans. I’ve kept to Daniel Fast friendly foods for dinner. And milk and oatmeal for breakfast. The first day was kind of hard. I worked from home, had a small portion of my rice and beans then a few hours later felt like I was starving to death. Anyway, that has all mostly passed. /no-more-resolutions/ Sun, 16 Dec 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /no-more-resolutions/ I know it’s way too early to start thinking about 2013 and the year that is to come. Believe me, I certainly am not in any rush to get through December any faster than anybody else. But, I have been thinking a lot about 2013 and what I want life to look like and how things are going to change, and so I naturally have been thinking a lot about January. /twenty-six/ Tue, 11 Dec 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /twenty-six/ This has been one of the craziest years of my life so far. I know it’s weird to do a year in review before the year’s over, but I got to thinking about how this year has gone. And, I turn 26 today, so how did 25 go? Where to even begin? We could begin in January, when I was sitting at DIA, waiting for my plane to arrive, which culminated in what I could only describe as the only panic attack I’ve ever had in my life as I collected my bags at the other end of the trip. /decision-points/ Thu, 29 Nov 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /decision-points/ Something I’ve been struggling with lately is how to know what I am supposed to do. With so many options and so many paths to take — how do I know where God wants me to go? I’ve been wrestling with a big, life-changing, audacious idea for my life. I know it would be pooh-poohed by some people. But in my gut, I think I’m called. I feel it in my bones. /grace/ Mon, 26 Nov 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /grace/ I don’t know how I got on the West Sound YFC mailing list. I’ve never been to the pacific northwest, though I’ve always wanted to go, maybe it’s God telling me something, I don’t know… :) But I got a newsletter from them a couple months ago. And unlike most newsletters, they sent me an issue that I haven’t been able to bear to throw away. It’s because they tell a story of a kid named Mike. /liar-liar-pants-on-fire/ Fri, 23 Nov 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /liar-liar-pants-on-fire/ I lie all the time. Some small. Some big. One lie after another, after another, after another. Daily. No, wait, that’s a lie. More like hourly or minutely. (I just made that word up. Another lie.) And the most frequent victim is: me. Because I so often tell myself lies like: I’ll compromise my principles, but only just this once, or What I do doesn’t matter, or God can’t use me. /are-you-kidding-me-politics/ Mon, 05 Nov 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /are-you-kidding-me-politics/ Anybody tired of being asked about your thoughts on politics? Maybe it’s because I stopped wearing my political views on my sleeves, but I get asked a lot about it. It’s always tough, because I usually get asked by people who have really strong views. And half of them are diametrically opposed to the other. I think most people want a simple black and white answer on the conservative/liberal or right/left scale, and if I did that, I would offend at least 50% of people who ask. /what-if/ Sat, 27 Oct 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /what-if/ As I sat this morning in the pavilion at Musana, I watched 30 or so kids sitting around on the floor playing with legos, building new things. If you know the history of some of these kids, you would know that most of them have lived with a lot of pain in their short lives, many having lost one or both parents. And if you know the history of Musana, you know it started as a reaction to another orphanage that was poorly run and severely neglecting (if not abusing) kids. /a-prayer-request/ Sat, 13 Oct 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /a-prayer-request/ If you think about it — would you pray for me sometime in the next 2 weeks? Even if you’re not a praying person. Here’s why. Tomorrow I get on a plane and I head to Uganda, Africa. I really don’t know why. I felt an urge to go (was God telling me something? I don’t know), and nothing stopped me, so here I am. Tickets in hand, bags packed, shots taken. /polluted/ Mon, 01 Oct 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /polluted/ I’ve always been super competitive. I want to come out on top, I want to win, I want to be the absolute best. My favorite class in college was on systems administration. It was my favorite because we had anonymized public grades, and I almost always maintained the highest grade on every test and most assignments. I was the best in that class, and I knew it. It was great. One of my other favorite classes had to have been the business capstone. /sent/ Mon, 24 Sep 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /sent/ There’s a great worship song I’ve had on repeat practically all week. It’s called Furious and it’s all about the awesome, wide and deep God lavishes on all of us. But there’s only one lyric that I’m really interested in, I could listen to it a thousand times: The Father loves and sends His Son. The Son lays down His life for all. Now if you’ve never been a Christian or you’ve never tracked with the whole complex idea of the trinity, a triune being with co-existent and co-eternal members, don’t let this escape you. /counter-cultural/ Fri, 21 Sep 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /counter-cultural/ Here are the cultural trends, see if you can spot the common thread: More porn of every type imaginable is available, instantly, ubiquitously and privately. As a consequence, more men beginning in the teenage years on up are not just addicted to but enslaved by lust. As the epidemic has gone up, it’s also gone even further underground, locked safely away in private. Beginning in earnest in middle school and carrying on for most throughout their adult lives, boys’ friendships and relationships have eroded away to being extraordinarily superficial or non-existent. /letting-go/ Mon, 17 Sep 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /letting-go/ You like making a difference, right? You would like it if you could change someone’s life for the better, right? I mean, you’re not a loon, right? I think that’s the draw for most people that get involved in any ministry. The thrill of stepping into someone’s life, and introducing them to a God so big and powerful and life changing, and seeing step by step happen and progress be made is intoxicating. /uganda/ Thu, 30 Aug 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /uganda/ So here’s the big news that most people already know but if you don’t: In a little over a month, I’ll be packing my bags on another excursion. Those of you that know me might wonder what new business trip I’m on, with exotic destinations like Orange County and Oklahoma City under my belt. The destination is Africa. More specifically the Musana Children’s Home in [Iganga, Uganda][2]. [2]: https://maps.google.com/maps?q=Iganga, Uganda&hl=en&sll=38.997934,-105.550567&sspn=4.490448,9.711914&hnear=Iganga, Eastern Region, Uganda&t=m&z=13 /character/ Tue, 28 Aug 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /character/ I feel like my writing on character is like a fat guy writing on wellness and exercise. I might have book knowledge of the topic, but off the top of my head I can probably think of dozens of actions, thoughts and behaviors that I know are completely wrong and sinful that I do anyway. These things that I do not want to do, but I do them anyway, sometimes on a monthly, weekly and even daily basis. /great-leadership/ Mon, 20 Aug 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /great-leadership/ I know some really great leaders. Leaders with leadership talents that would wipe the floor with any politician, yet they lead few people. I also know quite a few “leaders” that are really leaders by title only, with little to no actual leadership ability. I’ve often wondered what it is about the great leaders that make them so far and away better than everybody else. What are the traits, characteristics and habits that make great leaders so great? /control-freak/ Sun, 19 Aug 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /control-freak/ I’ll admit it, I’ve come to become a bit of a control freak. My first name is typically defined to mean strong, manly, and courageous. I have personally defined that (more so through deed than word) to mean that I don’t need anybody. I try to live my life that I can always be steady, reliable and solid. You can count on me! AJ’s the guy that has it all together. /cant-get-no-satisfaction/ Wed, 08 Aug 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /cant-get-no-satisfaction/ Life is marked by transitions. When you’re a kid, you want to be a grown up. When you’re single, you want to be married. When you’re in school, you want a job. Over and over again, we define our lives by the transitions in between places. I can feel this pressure in my life. I’ve become so accustomed to and comfortable with change, I think it’s addictive, so when it’s not happening, I feel out of sorts. /be-on-purpose/ Wed, 01 Aug 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /be-on-purpose/ I used to work with some really great leaders that always drove me crazy. They were always talking about the latest leadership fad they were reading by Seth Godin, the Harvard Business Review, or wherever. They were obsessed with being “strategic”. It got to the point where the very mention of the word strategy would send chills down my spine. Seeing how it was used in practice made me associate it with Type A, high strung, tightly wound over-achievers who use “strategy” as an excuse for engaging in pointless navel-gazing on leadership fads for hours and hours without actually doing anything. /love/ Mon, 09 Jul 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /love/ I have had a secret blog post in the works for years. YEARS. If I have written it once, I have rewritten it a thousand times. I have a hundred different versions of this same post on my hard drive. Each is on the same topic: identity. Who I hope to become as a person. Sometimes I start the post out talking about where I’ve come. As one of my favorite songs, how I start out (even today), “depraved and enslaved”. /doubling-down/ Fri, 29 Jun 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /doubling-down/ A couple weeks ago, I headed out with 100 and some middle school kids and church leaders to Nebraska for a week long summer camp. Towards the end of the camp, our pastor Zack gathered everybody together for some closing thoughts. One of the things he said struck me, he told all the campers to thank their leaders because they could have taken their vacation time off work to go to Barbados. /i-am-making-plans-against-you/ Fri, 22 Jun 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /i-am-making-plans-against-you/ The last few weeks I’ve been slowly making my way through the Old Testament book of Jeremiah. I’ve blogged about Jeremiah before, it’s a fascinating look at an Old Testament prophet that failed. People failed to listen to Jeremiah. But it’s not Jeremiah’s failure, in a way it’s God’s. It was God’s plan, it was God’s sermons, his resources brought to bear down upon a wicked people, pleading with them to repentance. /building-cliques/ Mon, 18 Jun 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /building-cliques/ “I want to help turn outsiders into insiders.” I’ve been enjoying being a leader at our church’s middle school camp this week. Definitely one of the best things I’ve ever done. And as I was running from chapel to our cabin to find one of my 6th grade crew, this phrase popped into my head. The night before, the guy I was running towards told me he felt isolated, without many friends. /fight/ Wed, 06 Jun 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /fight/ The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it? -Jeremiah 17:9 I’m not really a fighter. If I encounter resistance, I think I would usually rather stop and try something different. By nature, I would rather just avoid having to fight for something. I’d rather do something that didn’t require resistance, I think. One of the things I’ve been learning lately, probably much later in life than I should have, is that you have to fight for your heart. /full-of-it/ Fri, 18 May 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /full-of-it/ I think I’ve mentioned before that I have a bit of a hero complex. I always wanted to be super man when I was a kid. (I still do, actually) Then when I saw the Thunderbirds, I wanted to be Jeff Tracy with a secret island in the pacific running International Rescue, saving people the world over from crazy disasters with just the right amount of technology and style. Then I wanted to have a whole lot of money, billions of dollars (who wouldn’t? /bankruptcy/ Sun, 29 Apr 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /bankruptcy/ One of my strengths, I think so anyway, is that I’m a really quick learner. I’m highly competitive, I always like to be out in front of the pack, so all my life I’ve worked on being a quick learner. If I get a new task I just want to go out and do it better than anybody’s ever done it on the first try, and that means that I have to pick things up fast. /spiraling-down/ Thu, 26 Apr 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /spiraling-down/ It may sound absurd but don’t be naive Even heroes have the right to bleed I may be disturbed but won’t you concede Even heroes have the right to dream It’s not easy to be me -Superman (It’s Not Easy), Five For Fighting One thing I’ve often struggled with is randomly triggering deep feelings of blah. Something triggers, and within five minutes I feel like my whole world is crashing down around me. /trying-and-failing/ Mon, 23 Apr 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /trying-and-failing/ I’m a vol middle school leader @flatironschurch, I work as a sr. Linux sysadmin @SendGrid, I love @Colorado and I’m trying my best to be like Jesus. That’s my bio on Twitter. The things I volunteer at, the church I go to, the job I perform, and even where I live may all change. But something I never want to change is that last part about trying my best to be like Jesus. /in-the-waiting-room/ Fri, 06 Apr 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /in-the-waiting-room/ There’s a great Seinfeld routine about the doctor’s waiting room. It’s always frustrating to me that you make an appointment — an appointment! — to see the doctor at such and such a time. You show up at that time, they make you sit in the waiting room, then after a while your name is called and you get to wait again, this time in the little waiting room. What is the point of making an appointment if you don’t get to see the doctor at that time? /f-bomb/ Thu, 29 Mar 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /f-bomb/ I have been thinking a lot about Richard Dawkins’ statements that faith is the greatest moral issue in the modern age, and I really agree with him. Of course, he would say that having faith is the greatest modern danger, but I would say that not having it is the greater danger. Details, details. :) Part of the difference is that I can’t really get behind his definition of faith at all. /the-kid-on-the-airport-tram/ Thu, 22 Mar 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /the-kid-on-the-airport-tram/ This one thing remains… Your love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me Because on and on and on and on it goes It overwhelms and satisfies my soul -One Thing Remains, Jesus Culture As I was riding on the tram this morning at the airport, a little kid got on board. He was in a wheelchair being pushed by one of the airport helpers and his mom was right beside him. /burning-out/ Sun, 18 Mar 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /burning-out/ This is again one of those times when I speak out of my weakness. I can get crazy passionate about things. But I’m not content unless I am doing something. I don’t want to talk about doing something, I don’t want to endlessly plan something, I want to do something. I have a few friends that are the exact opposite. They get passionate about something but then all they do is talk about it. /sacrifice/ Sat, 17 Mar 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /sacrifice/ There are some really cool sayings that we hold dear at LifeChurch and in our DNA. Things like: “We are faith-filled, big-thinking, bet-the-farm risk-takers” (#1), and “We will do anything short of sin to reach people who don’t know Christ” (#5). But my favorite of all time is about sacrifice: “We give up things we love for things we love even more.” -LifeChurch.tv Core Value #3 This has changed how I think about sacrifice. /write-offs/ Fri, 24 Feb 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /write-offs/ One of the best things about God is that He loves write offs. Rejects. The-down-and-outs. The never-going-to-make-its. God writes in those that the world writes off. That’s powerful! I recently bookmarked 1 Corinthians 1:26-29 under the heading: “God chose the world’s fools”… *Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. /how-big-is-our-god/ Fri, 17 Feb 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /how-big-is-our-god/ We just concluded one of the most amazing series in our middle school program at Church. We’ve been talking about stories — real stories — our stories — God’s story. We heard from Marlon, Tyler, Nicole, Me … but the stories I love most are the cardboard signs. I have watched that last video over and over again. These are middle school students — and over the last 4 weeks we’ve talked a lot about life and what’s happening — and the stories have been incredible. /beautiful-things/ Wed, 15 Feb 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /beautiful-things/ You make beautiful things out of the dust -Gungor, Beautiful Things So often I think my life is just too messy. Too dirty. Too unclean and too unholy. Too icky. Don’t we have a tendency to count ourselves out? To think that God can only use perfect people, with perfect hair and perfect skin, and perfectly straight and white teeth, with the perfect house, living in the perfect little neighborhood? /disney-villains/ Tue, 14 Feb 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /disney-villains/ I’ve often thought that life would be easier if life’s temptations came as clear as Disney’s villains. Take Ursula from the Little Mermaid as an example. She’s clearly evil. Yet Ariel ignores the evil villainess vibe and, for her own selfish reasons, makes a deal with the devil. Here’s something worth thinking about: if my life were made into a Disney movie — who are the evil villains that I’m blind to? /derailed/ Sun, 12 Feb 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /derailed/ I think about the future a lot. It’s crazy for me to think about where I was a few years ago and where I am now. It’s not like anything I’ve ever expected. I saw on twitter a great quote from Bob Goff: “God often makes confetti out of our big plans for ourselves and uses it to celebrate His better plans for the world.” I don’t know about you, but I love that. /less-of-me/ Mon, 23 Jan 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /less-of-me/ I’m writing this at the airport. It’s been a really long week away from home, I’m tired, exhausted really, my plane’s been delayed twice, the only vegetarian food I could find was a charred nasty veggie burger, and I’m not really looking forward to how hectic this week is going to be. I’m traveling with a friend, and I was just unloading my frustration when I realized what was going on. /three-words-for-2012/ Mon, 02 Jan 2012 00:00:00 +0000 /three-words-for-2012/ I don’t usually do new year’s resolutions—but a lot of my coworkers every year write three words they want the new year to be about. Perhaps I’m cheating, as I’m just using the things God spent 2011 telling me 2012 was going to be about, but I have three areas of focus for 2012. Praying through these and others for the first 21 days in our all staff fast. Faith. 2012 is going to be an amazing year. /then-vs-now/ Thu, 29 Dec 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /then-vs-now/ Call me a softy, too sentimental, overly nostalgic, a little narcissistic, or just plain weird. But one thing I love to do is to visit old places from my life. I like to go back to places that were once common in my day to day life—an old college classroom, the gym at my old church, a particular spot in my library—and just reminisce. To me, it’s like time travel. These places rarely change, and all the sights, sounds and even smells immediately transport me back to the minutia of life at that moment. /opportunity/ Sat, 24 Dec 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /opportunity/ I was recently asked to share with some of the LifeChurch.tv staff what has been on my heart lately. I knew immediately what topic I wanted to write about: opportunity. Christmas Eve is one of the days of the year full of opportunities to share Christ’s amazing love with a broken world. Praying God opens your eyes to every amazing opportunity you encounter today. Opportunity. Many of us are Americans because of this word. /you-cant-count-us-out/ Sat, 10 Dec 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /you-cant-count-us-out/ Hey, you can’t count us out We’ve been running up against the crowd Yeah, we are the dark horses We’re singing… Wait! It’s not over now We’ve been down but we’ve never been out Yeah, we are the dark horses - Switchfoot, Dark Horses God revealed something to me today that blew my mind as I had this song cranked in the mountains. We’re playing for the winning team. What’s more, we’re playing for the Coach that controls the opposition’s playbook. /it-just-so-happened/ Thu, 08 Dec 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /it-just-so-happened/ I don’t know about your life, but when I look back on the past 25 years of my life, there are a ton of “It Just So Happened…” moments where if even the tiniest thing happened differently, my life would be totally different. One of the biggest “It Just So Happened…” sequences was when I landed at LifeChurch.tv working on YouVersion. It all started when I just so happened to be driving home from one of my most rewarding college classes, it just so happened that I decided to listen to the Andy Stanley Leadership Podcast, and it just so happened that the episode I picked to listen to was one where Andy was talking about the fact that to reach people no one else is reaching, you have to do things no one else is doing. /my-sunday-school-teacher-loves-me/ Sat, 19 Nov 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /my-sunday-school-teacher-loves-me/ I recently read a great story from a youth pastor. He was talking to his mom recently when she brought up a story about him from 30 years ago when he was 8 or 9. They were driving home from church on Sunday when he piped up and said, “Mom, my sunday school teacher loves me.” Curious about what happened, she asked what the teacher said. He replied, “Oh nothing, I can just tell. /something-worth-dying-for/ Tue, 08 Nov 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /something-worth-dying-for/ I used to discount the power of the gospel. Growing up as a Christian, I just always took it for granted, never realizing the power that it contains, never appreciating what the Gospel means for those who are far from God. I love the way Paul writes about it in Romans: “For I am not ashamed of the Gospel, because it is the POWER OF GOD that brings SALVATION TO EVERYONE who believes. /a-little-encouragement-goes-a-long-way/ Tue, 01 Nov 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /a-little-encouragement-goes-a-long-way/ Therefore encourage one another and build each other up… -1 Thessalonians 5:11a One of the things that I have often thought about is what a wuss I am compared to the early Christians. They were constantly thrown into jail, beaten and even crucified for what they believed. I am always whining to God about some situation or another that is tiny in comparison. But last night in between fixing down servers, I kind of had one of those epiphany moments when I realized that what they had that I lack is a great social network of constant encouragement with their closest friends. /skeletons-in-the-closet-the-monster-lurking-in-the-secret-chamber/ Mon, 24 Oct 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /skeletons-in-the-closet-the-monster-lurking-in-the-secret-chamber/ Every election season about this time, we see a lot of people come forward seeking office, but inevitably many of them give up in shame because a little searching found some skeletons hanging in their closet. If someone went searching–really searching–what skeletons would they find in your closet? If you’re like me, you know the answer, and it scares you to have anyone rooting around in there. On the outside, you may have learned to be suave, to say all the right things so all the people will think all the right things about you. /am-i-not-sending-you/ Wed, 19 Oct 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /am-i-not-sending-you/ “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our ancestors told us about when they said, ‘Did not the Lord bring us up out of Egypt?’ But now the Lord has abandoned us and given us into the hand of Midian.” The Lord turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. /bold-faith-having-really-big-love/ Tue, 04 Oct 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /bold-faith-having-really-big-love/ “What we think or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only thing of consequence is what we do.” -John Ruskin Strap on your seat belts, this is the most important component of Bold Faith yet. I’ve been writing the past few days on Bold Faith, I doubt any one has read through all of them, it’s just been a mind dump of everything God has been saying to me lately. /bold-faith-bold-obedience/ Mon, 03 Oct 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /bold-faith-bold-obedience/ Today I want to write about one of my 13 guys, the one I spend the most time praying over. I actually know and have talked to him the least of my 13, but as soon as I met him, I knew he was special and that I really wanted to pray for him. We met on a field trip to go sort some of the 225,000 pounds of food the people of my church donated to a local food bank. /bold-faith-preparing-a-great-harvest/ Sun, 02 Oct 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /bold-faith-preparing-a-great-harvest/ One of the things that has been on my mind a lot lately is the parable of the sower. In Mark 4, Jesus talks about a farmer going out and planting seeds. Some of the seeds lands in various places, some of it on the road, some of it in shallow soil, some of among weeds, some of it in good soil. The seeds that end up on the road, in shallow soil, or among weeds all eventually die or never really get the chance to grow at all while the seeds that fall in the good soil will produce a harvest of as much as a hundred times what was planted. /bold-faith-trusting-god-to-redeem-my-weakness/ Sun, 02 Oct 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /bold-faith-trusting-god-to-redeem-my-weakness/ Would you take a priceless masterpiece and just throw it into the trash? You probably would say no, of course not, but I am sure you probably have! One of the things I love most about God is his unbounded creativity. He created the entire universe. His creativity extends from the colors of the sunset at night, to the beauty of molecules and the scientific formulae that guide the stars. It all is beautiful, wonderful, and creative. /on-the-mountain-top-relying-on-jesus-to-prepare-the-way/ Mon, 19 Sep 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /on-the-mountain-top-relying-on-jesus-to-prepare-the-way/ If you know me at all, you know I just love mountains. I love driving through them, I love climbing them, I love hiking them, I love taking pictures of them, and I even love talking about mountains. There is just something so amazing about mountains. The beach is cool and all, but give me a quiet spot miles from civilization on a mountaintop somewhere any day. I know I’m not at all original, but there are so many parallels between hiking in the mountains and day to day life. /visionary-i-cant-do-this-on-my-own/ Fri, 16 Sep 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /visionary-i-cant-do-this-on-my-own/ I love reading biographies and stories about visionary people. The thing that is most striking about visionary people is how crazy they seem at the time. Truly visionary people are rarely seen as visionary when they start out. They’re the crazy ones, the ones that spend just a little too much time day dreaming about the future. The ones predicting a future that no one else can see, and no one else can touch. /everything-is-perfect-giving-up-when-it-all-goes-wrong/ Tue, 06 Sep 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /everything-is-perfect-giving-up-when-it-all-goes-wrong/ I find the Old Testament book of Jeremiah to be utterly fascinating. It’s one of the best examples of a personal and intimate relationship between man and God in the Old Testament. And I can so easily relate at times to Jeremiah who is frequently called the “Weeping Prophet.” God called Jeremiah, and gave him a specific mission that he was born to do. The whole exchange in Jeremiah 1 is great, but 1:4-10 is particularly great: /it-all-starts-with-jesus/ Mon, 05 Sep 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /it-all-starts-with-jesus/ “I have a hard time believing in something I can’t see.” That’s what one of the guys in my Life Group told me this morning. And, I have to admit, I do too. It’s so easy to doubt and wonder if this really all is a scam after all. Maybe I’m the only one, but I think this kind of doubt is extremely common. I thought for a second or two, and I wanted to get him off the thinking about what you can see into other measures as well. /christ-in-me/ Sun, 04 Sep 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /christ-in-me/ I was standing outside as we were wrapping up our church middle school program for the night. That’s when a kid I had been hanging out with came up to me, sat down and wrapped his arms and legs around my leg and started telling jokes. A couple of them were pretty funny, most of them were corny, and one or two weren’t quite appropriate. He even drew a little audience. /play-doh-ministries/ Tue, 16 Aug 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /play-doh-ministries/ I love, love, love student ministry. It feels so good to be back and involved again in my local church after such a long hiatus. I’ve tried to narrow down the reason I love it so much. It’s not pretending to have a bunch of energy I really don’t have any more, it’s not trying to pretend to like the occasional Justin Bieber song that gets played, it’s certainly not proving what terrible hand-eye coordination I have in various games, and it’s not trying to recapture my middle school years. /rest-you-can-finally-stop-running/ Sat, 06 Aug 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /rest-you-can-finally-stop-running/ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” – Jesus (as quoted by Matthew 11:28-30) This verse is a troubling verse. I don’t know what your life has been like since you became a Christian (if you are one), but my life didn’t seem to become easy or light. /5-traits-of-a-magnetic-leader/ Wed, 03 Aug 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /5-traits-of-a-magnetic-leader/ As soon as I say the words “magnetic personality”, you’ve probably got somebody in mind that you find magnetic. Their personality is irresistible to you, whether you know them intimitely or not. There are probably a few qualities we can point out as particularly magnetic: Self Security. This to me isn’t about arrogance, but about rest. They know whose they are, who they are, and where they’re going. They don’t pace around and worry about those things, and they don’t worry that you know them either. /we-didnt-start-the-fire/ Tue, 24 May 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /we-didnt-start-the-fire/ I love the Billy Joel song, We Didn’t Start the Fire. Especially when paired with images of what he’s singing about. (Here’s one great YouTube version) It’s amazing to look at and think about how the world changed in 40 short years from 1949 – 1989. And if you look at it, in 20 short years, we’ve almost changed more since ‘89. But what strikes me most when watching history develop is really how disconnected it all feels at times. /prison-was-the-best-thing-that-ever-happened-to-me/ Thu, 12 May 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /prison-was-the-best-thing-that-ever-happened-to-me/ Those words echoed in my ears just as soon as I heard them at church a few months ago. They were spoken by a guy that was a drug dealer, got busted and sent to prison. ([Check out his story][1], it’s pretty cool. You can jump to 41:45 to see his part in the video.) [1]: http://www.flatironschurch.com/messages/_video/index.php?vn=20652702&sn=Flatirons Ink&md=02-27-11 There’s so much about the world and about God that I don’t know or understand, but if there’s one small part I feel pretty safe in saying, it’s that God redeems. /war-zone/ Fri, 11 Mar 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /war-zone/ You may not realize it, but there’s a full scale war being fought right now. A war so long lasting, a war so wide reaching, a war so calculatingly destructive, that it makes both of the World Wars look like a couple of little boys playing with toy soldiers. This war, however, is not fought with guns and bombs, tanks and planes, submarines and aircraft carriers. We do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. /growing-pains/ Sun, 20 Feb 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /growing-pains/ I knew it was probably going to be a tough class. It was the end of the first day of the semester, and the professor wanted to make one final point before letting us go. He talked about his two boys. When they were babies, like most babies, one of the only ways to communicate was through crying. A wet diaper causes crying. Hunger causes crying. Tiredness causing crying. But he said what surprised him was how much crying had no apparent cause. /instincts/ Sun, 06 Feb 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /instincts/ “Calm seas never make skilled sailors.” I never really understood what they meant in Driver’s Ed, when they said that if you start sliding, you turn with the slide. Being a Colorado kid, I heard it a lot. But what does that even mean? Because our worst snow storms are measured in feet, and we have many mountain passes with sharp turns, the state really wants its drivers to know that you steer into the slide. /stewardship-not-selfishness/ Tue, 25 Jan 2011 00:00:00 +0000 /stewardship-not-selfishness/ I know someone that hates global warming, environmentalists, and presumably puppies and kitties. So much so they actually go out of their way to be as wasteful as possible. They use more then they need, move things from the recycling bin to the trash bin, and just generally try to act as selfishly as possible. I don’t think that you have to become a tree-hugging, whale-saving, green-voting, bleeding-heart, enviro-nazi. Though I do find this attitude completely revolting. /the-gospel-of-christmas/ Thu, 16 Dec 2010 00:00:00 +0000 /the-gospel-of-christmas/ I just love Christmastime in general, and I think part of that is the music of Christmas. So many of our Christmas songs are hundreds of years old, and very deep in imagery. One of my favorite songs of all is Hark! the Herald Angels Sing. How many other songs do we sing regularly that are from 1739!? It’s survived because the message is both extraordinarily beautiful, and extraordinarily powerful. /following-in-a-dark-dim-confusing-world/ Sun, 12 Dec 2010 00:00:00 +0000 /following-in-a-dark-dim-confusing-world/ It occurs to me that Christians have made “following Christ” almost meaningless. Following Christ is not an invisible, unknown something in your heart. “Following Christ” is an action, with visible consequences. Just as I might follow you on the road and go left when you go left, and go right when you go right, if we’re following Christ, we’re going to do the same things He did. We can debate theology and teachings until we’re blue, but Jesus’ actions provide a pretty clear plan of how to live a life as He lived. /theres-something-wrong/ Mon, 06 Dec 2010 00:00:00 +0000 /theres-something-wrong/ I try to hold on tight but there’s no stopping time –Revive: Blink In the last 5 years, I’ve lost both grandparents, grieved with friends when they lost family, watched marriages crumble, saw a tragic miscarriage, saw another friend have a very premature baby, watched as a prison sentence was handed down, seen marriages dissolve, businesses and ministries crumble and careers end. Everyone I know has been to hell and back so often we all have frequent flyer miles. /a-heart-overflowing-with-compassion/ Wed, 16 Jun 2010 00:00:00 +0000 /a-heart-overflowing-with-compassion/ A funeral procession was coming out as Jesus approached the village gate. The young man who had died was a widow’s only son, and a large crowd from the village was with her. When the Lord saw her, his heart overflowed with compassion. -Luke 7:12-13 NLT I love, love, LOVE this view of Jesus. During hard times, it is always a tremendous encouragement. For me, I just love the language and visual that “his heart overflowed with compassion” brings to mind. /peace/ Thu, 22 Apr 2010 00:00:00 +0000 /peace/ “God can’t give us happiness & peace apart from Himself because it is not there. There is no such thing.” -C.S. Lewis I just love this quote so much, it really resonated with me and my season of life. Really, all seasons of life. In the last year, I have really felt the need to be way more intentional about living in exactly the center of God’s will. Still not there completely yet, but I have so much more peace today than I had even 6 months ago. /do-less-accomplish-more-live-better/ Fri, 02 Apr 2010 00:00:00 +0000 /do-less-accomplish-more-live-better/ Today, the (in)famous business researcher Jim Collins came to speak at CSU as a gift to graduating business seniors like me. And one of the first things he did was pose a question to us on a topic I have been thinking *a lot* about lately. We’re all starting from roughly the same point, but in 30 years, we’re all going to be somewhere else, and there’s going to be a few of us that end up as the greats, and others of us that will be the comparisons. /the-king-shown-disgrace/ Fri, 26 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +0000 /the-king-shown-disgrace/ Jeremy Camp’s song This Man has a pretty powerful lyric I had never really considered before. > The King was placed for all the world to show disgrace, > but only beauty flowed from this place. For some reason, as I was driving down the road recently, I was really struck by what this said. I’ve heard this song a thousand times, and it’s a great song about Jesus’ sacrificial death on the cross, but the words “The King” and disgrace really struck out to me. /befuddled-because-of-jesus/ Tue, 09 Feb 2010 00:00:00 +0000 /befuddled-because-of-jesus/ I love that I’m not the only one befuddled with what to do with Jesus. Pilate uttered the words that we all have had to grapple with ever since, “What shall I do, then, with Jesus who is called Christ?” Because, let’s just be honest with ourselves for five minutes here. Jesus is hard. He doesn’t neatly fit into any boxes. Nor do we have any real clue what to do with him. /reflections-on-advent/ Tue, 29 Dec 2009 00:00:00 +0000 /reflections-on-advent/ Advent, this season leading up to Christmas, is my favorite celebration of all. Far too often we are too busy to recognize the significance of advent, or respect what it represents. There are lots of arguments about whether or not people should celebrate Christmas. Many people, especially the extreme arm of Christ-mythers, go so far as to say that Christmas was simply a Catholic rip off of the winter celebration of the Zoroastrian god (”yazata”) Mithra. /christmas-cruelest-joke-of-all/ Fri, 25 Dec 2009 00:00:00 +0000 /christmas-cruelest-joke-of-all/ Christmas is one of my favorite days of the year. The other day is Easter. These days remind us of our humanity, and how Jesus emptied himself of everything it meant to be God and became one of us. Humbly, as we all start out, he too started as a baby. Then, unlike any of us, he did what is impossible for us, and died on a cross then rose from the dead, providing the only available reconciliation between God and men. /a-christmas-to-remember/ Thu, 24 Dec 2009 00:00:00 +0000 /a-christmas-to-remember/ In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register. So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David.