Giving It Over

Today was kind of stressful. I’ve been kind of distracted at work, so on Friday I messed up a deploy and spent two hours doing something that ultimately did nothing. Today I redid it, but managed to forget one of the things I forgot on Friday, and managed to waste more time on something that did nothing.

I dropped my cat off at the vet because she’s been losing weight and I’ve been worried, well $500 later I have insulin and special cat food she has to eat that’s approximately 6 bazillion times more expensive than the catfood I was buying.

Then I was at the car dealer to buy my new car that I’ve been waiting over a month for, only to spend 2 hours having them waste my time and accomplish very little. It’s over an hour away in south Denver, and I had an appointment to go pick up my cat, so I had to leave to go pick her up, and I got very annoyed at the car dealer for wasting my time. Which means I have to go tomorrow, and I had to cancel coffee plans with a good friend of mine that I was really looking forward to.

There’s also some ministry stuff going on that I’m thinking about and worrying about.

Add to the top of it, I got a call about plans I was trying to make with some people in July and trying to find a way to please 4 different groups of people during a week when I’m quadruple booked, and I just snapped.

I can’t solve everybody’s problems. As much as I want to be, I’m not Superman. I can’t hold the weight of all these problems. I’m crazy stressed. I’m trying to live up to expectations I can’t meet.

And I’m done. Sorry, take a number. I’ve done a lot for a lot of people. But I am not going to make your problems my problems. I have enough problems of my own to worry about.

I came home and started listening to some worship music and praying. Not really an audible or expressive prayer. Just more of like a moan and a grumble, but I think God figured it out.

I can’t handle it all. I’m not supposed to. I shouldn’t even try. I’m giving it to God. He has always been able to handle everything I’ve ever given Him with flying colors.

I’m giving God the first and the best of me. All of me. I’m giving God the first and the best so I can rest.

I feel so much better already.