War

I really believe that God has uniquely called and gifted every one of us in life to do 2 or 3 things really well. They need not be anything that will change the entire world, or be something noticed by anyone except God. They may be as simple as being a really great son, friend, husband and dad. Or it may be as great as building a world class organization that reaches the ends of the world with the Gospel. Both are equally weighty and equally important, if that’s what God has called you to do.

Now think about the 2 or 3 areas on your heart. Now think about the top areas of sin struggle in your heart. In your head, begin drawing lines from one side to another. Now this is probably obvious to literally everyone in the entire world except me, but I did that tonight and … AHA!

I want to be a great leader and point kids to Jesus, but my insecurity is a direct line attack against that. My insecurity means I’m overly preoccupied with making it about me, and when it’s all about me, it can’t be all about Jesus.

I one day want to be a great dad, husband and leader, and my feelings of inadequacy as a follower of Jesus and as a man is a direct line attack against that.

I am beginning to believe the reason God allows these attacks to come against us while preventing all others is that they can cause us to draw closer to God, if we let them. I can’t stop feeling insecure by saving the emails and Facebook comments people send me saying something nice about me. Trust me, I’ve tried this strategy for like the last 10 years. It doesn’t work and if anything only makes us that much more insecure.

No, I can only battle insecurity by retreating to the presence of God. How often do I need to do that? Well, how often do the attacks come? Daily? No. Hourly? No. Minutely? Maybe. Secondly? Probably.

How do I deal with the temptation to cheat and to win at all cost? To be invulnerable, admit no faults and hope everyone is impressed at what a great Jesus follower I am and how well I lead? I deal with it by taking it to the Cross.

How do I deal with not being able to resist tempation? I take it to Jesus. I can’t resist alone but with Jesus’ strength, I can.

Your top 3 things God has put on your heart, He put that there so you would run after it with all of your heart and with everything you have. Are you really just going to let worry, fear and shame swoop in and steal God’s beautiful plan for your life? Are you going to just give up and say, Well this is my life, c’est la vie?

No! This is War. And now that I know what’s at stake, I want it to change. I am not giving up. I will depend all the more on the strength that Jesus gives me, not my own.