I was talking to a high school student recently about life, relationships, the universe and everything. And I remember asking him, what does your relationship with God look like?

And he was honest and said that he was still trying to figure out the whole God thing. And then he went into detail explaining exactly how I feel about God most often in my life: there was a time when I resisted sin in my life and I felt really close to God, and then the sin came back and I never felt further away.

God and I are tight when I’m praying, reading devos and doing Bible studies. But when I fall away, God and I aren’t as tight any more.

Can’t you relate to that? Or is it me only? That’s my story. When I’m doing good, God and I are good. And when I’m doing bad, God and I are bad.

We drifted on to other subjects but I just couldn’t shake this feeling like I needed to speak into this. This is my constant struggle in life, and maybe because it is my thing I feel like I can’t really talk authoritatively about it, but I just really needed to speak up.

This idea would change me and it will change you if we let it into our hearts: God’s love for us is a being love and not a doing love. I think if I’m doing stuff, God loves me. But in reality, God loves me for being me. He made me. That’s the only reason He needs to love me.

I think of it this way: my relationship with my employer is a doing love. I stop doing my job, and the pay checks stop flowing. My relationship with my parents is a being love. They love me just because I exist. They made me, and I exist, therefore I am loved. I have their love because I am being their son.

I don’t think of God that way, though. I think if I can just do more good stuff, God will love me more. And if I do more bad stuff, God will love me less. But the reality is that God loves me because He made me. And my existence is why He loves me. I can’t make Him love me more by doing more good things, and I can’t make Him love me less by doing more bad things. He just loves me.

If this idea could just seep into my heart, it would change everything. I could finally rest and stop trying to earn the love of a God who already loves me so much.

And the only way I know how to get this into my heart is to give it to God. I can’t prove God’s love to you. But God can show it to you. You and God need to have a conversation. “Hey God, I love You so much. Help me understand how much You love me.”

God loves you way more than I love you. (sorry, it’s just true) And I have every confidence that if that becomes your prayer, God will show up and help you change your thinking from a doing love to a being love.